How many young Christian men have struggled with lust and foolishly thought that all their problems would magicly go away once they got married? (All that pent-up abstinence could finally be released!) …just to find out that a problem with lust is only partly physiological. Fidelity is just as much a matter of our hearts, minds, and habits as it is our bodies.
Recently, I was in a conversation with a friend about safe-guarding our marriages against cheating. Not only actual adultery, but also mental and emotional adultery. We were sharing practical ways we each help ourselves to be faithful to our wives and to continue to keep our minds and hearts monogamous. We don’t want any room in our lives for developing any romantic affections for women besides our wives!
We came up with 6 practical strategies for safe-guarding our marriages against extra-marital romance. (Since my friend and I are both guys, our list is written from the husband’s point-of-view. Wives – you can just reverse the genders in the list below to make the strategies work for you, too!)
1-Never be alone with a female in private other than your wife. If you must have a private conversation with a female at work or under some other compulsory circumstance, always make sure it happens in an open, public place, or inside a room with a window in the door in a public place. Sit where both of you are clearly-visible to passers-by through the window.
2-Install internet accountability and filtering software – such as CovenantEyes or X3watch – to all computers in the home and at work, and have the reports set-up to be emailed (1)to your wife, and (2)to a spiritual mentor of yours who is a male.
3-Be no better friends with any female than your wife is with the her. Also, keep a healthy distance (physically & emotionally) from female friends, and save any intimate conversations for your wife alone.
4-Never ride alone in a car with just one other female.
5-Don’t carry on back-&-forth text, email, facebook chat, or other mediums of communication with females for social purposes.
6-Avoid physical contact with other females as much as possible.
Some might call these 6 safe-guards old-fashioned. I’d call them… WISE. We want to protect our wives and fortify our marriages! We want to avoid even the appearance of evil – we want to stay above reproach.
These strategies not only safeguard us from temptation, but they also eliminate the possibility of even a false accusation – which as we all know can ruin a marriage and a reputation.
We invite you to join us in our old-fashioned, prudish ways! We believe they will serve you, your marriage, your ministry, your reputation, and your conscience very very well!
How do you safe-guard your marriage from mental, emotional, and physical infidelity? What strategies have helped you avoid being tempted by extra-marital affections?