MEN: Honoring women is not old-fashioned. It is neither an antiquated tradition nor an artificial construct. Women are worthy of our honor and deference. In fact, I would submit to you that a man is never behaving in a more manly way than when he is defending and protecting the honor of the women in his life.

“A man is never more masculine than when he guards, defends, and protects the purity and dignity of a woman.” –Dennis Rainey

With that in mind, I’d like to offer a short list of gentlemanly things we can do to honor the ladies in our lives. Some may ridicule such standards as old-fashioned, antiquated, or patriarchical. Those labels are wrong, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because treating women with dignity and love is more important than whatever people may think or say.

TEN GENTLEMANLY THINGS:

1. Open doors for ladies. And gently close the door behind them when appropriate, like when getting into or out of the car.

2. Always walk on the downhill-side of a lady, so that if she stumbles, you are there to catch her from falling. This means walking in front of a lady when descending a staircase with her, but walking behind her when climbing up a staircase together.

3. Whenever walking with a lady or a child near a roadway, always walk on the curbside of them, keeping yourself between them and the road for safety.

4. Whenever a lady enters a room for the first time, it is polite to stand up to show her respect, and to remain standing until she is seated. (If you are wearing a hat, it is polite to briefly remove you hat whenever encountering a lady.) If she is wearing a dress or skirt, you can serve her by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it forward as she sits down upon it. Then you can be seated after her.

5. In a dining situation, the ladies should be served their food first, before the men. However, if the server serves you before others, it is polite to refrain from eating until everyone at the table has received their food. Then you may dig in!

6. Ladies are beautiful, and they do appreciate tasteful compliments about their appearance. However, don’t limit your compliments to just their appearance. Compliment her intellect, her character, her heart, her thoughts, her skills, her virtues, and more! Be specific with your compliments, and mean what you say.

7. When complimenting a lady’s appearance, it is not tasteful to compliment her body or her figure. Instead, compliment her hair, her smile, or her attire: “Your hair looks very pretty today!” “You have such a lovely smile!” “What a beautiful dress!” Appropriate words for physical compliments would be things like “lovely” and “beautiful.” Words like “hot” or “sexy” are not gentlemanly compliments to give a woman.

Think of it this way: what words would be appropriate to compliment your Mom, your sister, or your daughter if you wanted to encourage them regarding their appearance? That standard can help you keep your compliments to other ladies respectful and appropriate.

8. Reject porn from your life in every form. Again, the most manly thing a man can do is protect and defend the honor of a woman. Watching porn is the opposite of this.

9. Whenever you take a lady home, don’t just drop her off and leave. Either park your car and walk her to her door, or if you remain in your car, at least remain until you see her safely enter her home before you drive away.

10. Above all, care for her heart. If you have a disagreement, or you feel hurt or insulted for any reason, your first responsibility as a man is to honor and care for the lady’s heart. If you need to step away for a moment to collect your thoughts or to calm your temper, do so. Don’t harm her with your words or actions. Even in the heat of a disagreement, or after the sting of an insult, her safety should still be your first priority.

Gentlemen also have the courage to use difficult words like, “I’m sorry,” “I made a mistake,” and “Please forgive me.”

Try not to think of these things as a list of “rules,” but rather as standards or guidelines. If you are treating the women in your life with honor and respect (with your words, actions, thoughts, etc.), then that’s the main point of all of this.

And while these are great things to remember and practice, don’t beat yourself up if you forget to open a door for a lady, or forget to walk in front of a lady going down the stairs. Once you realize what you could’ve done better, just make a mental note of it for next time. Practice makes progress! And the ladies in your life are worth it.